They call him......Boomerang

Boomerang. That is the new nickname my husband has named my father. One that is well-earned.

Every night after dinner Pop announces that he is going out to sit on the porch. (his favorite past time.) He gets as far as the kitchen door before he turns quickly around and returns to his place at the table. "Too chilly!" he will announce.

Pop will sit for a few minutes and then say, "I'm going out on the porch." Mom, Husband, and I will sit smiling at each other. Pop puts one foot out the kitchen door and ... "Brrr, it's cold out there." before returning to his chair.

We wait patiently as Pop tries one more time. "I think it's going to snow!" He shakes his head chuckling at the joke he made, and he joins us once again at the table.

Corny joke: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return? . . . . . . . . . . . .
                                                            A stick
(joke credit: my husband)

Nap Time

Just got home from work. Didn't know it was nap time

Extreme OCD...ing

EXHIBIT A: an ordinary dust pan and broom. 

What is so hysterical about a simple household object; one that would cause two sisters to burst into giggle fits? 

The answer: Pop's OCD. Normally not a topic that would cause raucous laughter but allow me to show you ...












EXHIBIT B: the same ordinary dust pan and broom from a different angle.  The same ordinary dust pan and broom that Pop spent at least one minute straightening.

What's cooking?

What's cooking? Nothing. More like what's burning. And it's not food!

Yesterday around 2:30 p.m. I just put granddaughter down for a nap, Mom and Pop were napping soundly in their recliners and I smelled smoke. Smoke was pouring from their bathroom and filling up the living room. Why the smoke alarms didn't go off, I'm not sure. (Unfortunately, the alarms are not loud enough to disturb their slumber)

I entered the bathroom and the smell of burning rubber was noxious. The washing machine was making a loud banging noise. (Not quite loud enough to disturb their slumber) I quickly unplugged the machine, scanned for flames, opened the window, then exited the bathroom. After opening the windows in the rest of the house and turning on all the ceiling fans, Pop, like Rip Van Winkle, awakens and wants to use the bathroom. Once again, as described in previous posts, the bathroom is off limits.

I'm convinced their bathroom has a spell cast on it!

He's no tree-hugger

Dinner time is a synchronized and choreographed event at our house. Like other families, setting the table, preparing the meal, serving dinner, lively and humorous conversation and feasting are features of every evening meal.

What sets us apart from a normal family meal is keeping Pop away from the paper products. Husband, Mom, and I take turns moving, sliding, and hiding the napkins, paper cups and tissues from Pop. Here is an example when choreographing goes awry.

More Front Porch Swinging

PopPop and Hannah enjoy a lovely summer day on the porch swing. Another great-grandchild who adores PopPop and swinging on the swing.

Hannah and Pop Pop

Children are the hands by which we take hold of heaven.

 ~ Unknown

Photo taken July 8, 2013-- Hannah (7 months) Pop Pop (96 years)

Afternoon Entertainment

This photo speaks for itself

Pop's version of a Knock, Knock joke

Today was Pop's 96th birthday. Yep, 96 years old! Amazing!!! He was surprised every time I wished him Happy Birthday. He asked Mom, "how old am I today?" Mom just scowled at him.

As birthday tradition dictates, we went to IHOP for dinner.

When we entered the restaurant, Pop asked, "do you know what IHOP stands for?" He answered the question himself, "International House of Pancakes."

After we ordered, Pop asked again, "do you know what IHOP stands for?" He quickly responded, "International House of Pancakes."

When our meal was served, Pop queried us again, "do you know what IHOP stands for?" as if he had just thought of the question.  Of course, he knew the answer, "International House of Pancakes."

We left the restaurant thinking the rigorous questioning was over but Pop had one more question for us, "do you know what IHOP stands for?" "I'm a Happy Old Person!"

Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives

OK, I admit it. I'm not a good cook. However, I am pretty good at grilling. Mom on the other hand, is an awesome chef. She could make any meal taste like it came from a gourmet restaurant.

Yesterday, I made hotdogs and baked beans. Pop's favorite meal. I was disappointed when he didn't finish it. I said to Mom, "Pop doesn't like my cooking." Mom's quick response...."I don't either!"

I'm Singing the Service Station Blues

Last week with Mom and Pop in tow, I stopped to get gas in their car. I pretended to be a friendly small town gas attendant. I whistled while I cleaned the windows, checked the oil and air in their tires, jauntily tipped my pretend hat and cheerily said, "That will be $24.16, Ma'am." Mom handed me $24.25 and said, "Keep the change." I frowned, only .19 tip. Mom explained, "You didn't do such a good job on the windows!"

Albert and Adam

"As I may have told you," as youngsters get older, oldsters get younger. At some point, they converge and share the same abilities, conversation skills, and social expertise.

Meet Adam (great-grandson), who is four, and  Pop Pop who is 95. They both share a love of checkers and spending time on the porch swing. A simple life!

HAPPY EASTER!

I don't get paid enough for this job

Here is a rundown of my day:

6:00 AM Rise and Shine
7:15  at work preparing math and reading lessons for the school day
3:00  pretty good day, students leave on the bus
4:00  finish up grading papers and leave work
4:15  at the mall to get watch battery for Pop
5:00  arrive home to start second job and hear Mom screeching at Pop.
5:02  hand Pop his watch sans a thank you, discover reason for screeching
5:03  greeted by yellow and brown water seeping from their toilet and flooding the bathroom floor
5:04  throw down old towels to delay the inevitable
5:05  change into bio-hazard suit and begin plunging
5:17  still plunging
6:09  bend wire hanger to try to fish out offending clog
6:35  head to store to buy Liquid Plumber
7:00  still clogged
7:48  husband arrives home to meet frazzled wife
7:49  after brief update, takes over CPR (compress, plunge, repeat)
8:07  head to Home Depot to purchase Sooper Dooper Pooper Blaster AKA 3' Heavy Duty Cable Auger (the kind you hope you never have to use)
9:08  clog is cleared, towels in large trash bag, last remnants of wadded up toilet paper wiped up
9:09 PM dispose of bio-hazard suit
9:09 PM Pop waiting patiently to use the bathroom
9:15 PM sit down to dinner. For some reason we aren't very hungry

See post dated February 9, 2012, Name that Turd (nearly a year to the date of this environmental disaster)

Just when I thought it was really over...

This past Saturday, Mom decided after 60 years of marriage that she couldn't stay with Pop anymore. She just couldn't stand it! It was over. She was finished. It's final!

She was obviously frustrated about something Pop had done. I just had to find a way to soothe her and get to the root of her frantic ravings.

"I can't sleep with you anymore." she shouted at Pop.
 It's true, I thought, she really means it this time. Then I heard ...
"I've decided to buy a new mattress."

So off we went to the Macy's mattress sale. Before we left, I told Mom to bring her walker because it would be a hike going through the mall. At first she refused, but her resolve was strong and the walker prevailed.

As we were getting in the car, I told her to be careful with the walker, don't go too fast and use small steps. Here was her proud response, "I was trained in the use of this walker!"

Three hours later and Certified Walker Mom, who speed-walked her way through the entire mall, was the proud owner of a queen mattress and box spring set, two sets of queen sheets and queen mattress pad.

"That'll fix him!" she said out loud.

Porch Swinging-Redneck Style

You might be a Redneck...
    ...if you have living room furniture on the deck and porch instead of a swing and rocking chairs.

Happy Birthday Mom

Mom celebrated her 87th birthday today with little fanfare...just a tasty ice cream cake and lots and lots of scratch-off lottery tickets, her  favorite past time next to watching Bones, NCIS, White Collar, Law and Order SVU, Cold Case, and CSI marathons.

I handed her a quarter to start scratching. She said, "I usually use a penny, do you think a quarter will work?"

Conversation

Here was my conversation with Mom yesterday:

Mom: I swatted Inca (our cat) with a banana.
Me: A what?!
Mom: A banana
Me: Wasn't a newspaper good enough?
Mom: No fruit works best

Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is a day to give thanks for family and friends, for good fortunes and good food. Our gathering was all of that and more. The guests arrived in a steady stream all day bringing goodies and lots of conversation. When my son and daughter-in-law arrived they greeted Mom Mom and Pop Pop and Lisa, who is 9 months pregnant with their first baby and our first grandchild, excused herself to go to the bathroom. She said, "the baby is going bouncy, bouncy on my bladder." As she left the room, Mom Mom announced, "Pop goes to the bathroom all the time, the baby must be going bouncy, bouncy on Pop's bladder too!"

Hurricane Sandy

Hurricane Sandy roared through the East Coast two days ago and caused massive devastation and destruction in her path. Fortunately our household was spared much of her wrath but what to do with two bored old-timers who are shut in for long, rainy and windy days? Pop, ever the ultimate survivalist, drawing on skills honed from his days in the army, using his keen sense of timing and perseverance, his courage and fearlessness; man facing down the storm that raged around him. He created his own solution to this debacle. Draw pictures on the foggy windows with his finger. Here are the simple step by step instructions: breathe on the window, draw picture, erase with sleeve of shirt, repeat.

A Riddle for you

What do Boo from Monster's Inc. and Pop have in common?









Both love to sing in the bathroom!

Rated R

Our cat, Inca, loves Mom and Pop because they remain stationary for hours in their recliners. Therefore, Inca can "cat nap" for as long as they "human nap."  So, when Pop got up to go to the doctor's, he had cat hair all over him. Mom admonished Pop and grabbed the adhesive lint brush (this is the R rated part) and began  vigorously rolling it up and down Pop's crotch area. After several minutes of Mom's ministrations Pop announced, "Doll Baby, that's enough, Dolly Baby that's enough."

Top ten things you can count on Pop to say or do at dinner

1. I'm not really that hungry
2. Wow, is that all for me 
3. Is there anything else to eat?
4. Just give me a little bit.
5. What's for dessert?
6. What day is it?
7. What's on the program tonight? (Larry AKA Lawrence Welk)
8. I think I dropped something on the floor.
9. She won't pay any attention to me. (We're not sure if he is talking about Mom or the dog)
10. Make mine medium-rare.

He Still Loves Her

My Dad has the sweetest habit in the world.  He constantly tells Mom he loves her.  It doesn’t matter what time of day or night, he will lean over her and say, “Have I told you today I love you?  Doll Baby, I love you!” Kind of endearing, right? Well, to be truthful, it drives Mom crazy!  This will continue all day and sometimes Mom grits her teeth and says,” Yeah!” and waves him away, because she is watching something really important on TV like Inmates Raw, Law & Order SVU, Bones or some other detective/murder story.  My sisters and I tell her all the time that she will miss him and his “Doll Baby, I love you!” when he is gone, but Mom is not persuaded.

One particular day when I was talking to Mom, I asked her how Dad was doing.  (He had popped a blood vessel in his eye when he sneezed.)  I asked her if he seemed any different, i.e., walking, speaking, etc. and she said without hesitation, “No, he still loves me!”

Thanks for another great post, from my regular guest blogger, my sister, Jackie.

Pop is 95!!!

Yesterday was a momentous occasion. Pop turned 95 years old. Here are a few events and inventions that have occurred during his lifetime.

1917 zipper invented
1918 electrically propelled warship and solid propellant rockets
1919 pop-up toaster and rotary dial telephones
1920 radio compass, electric hearing aid, Q-tips and Band-aids
1921 polygraph
1922 microfilm
1923 Schick razors, self-winding watch, electric shaver, traffic signals
1924 Otis elevator-first automatic elevator
1926 first trans-Atlantic radio-telephone conversation, Kool-Aid, gas refrigerator
1927 proto-type of television  invented by Philo T. Farnsworth
1928 Scotch tape invented, introduction of sliced bread and bubble gum
1929 Dunlop Laboratories made foam rubber and 1st manned rocket plan flight
1930 1st red and green traffic lights installed in Manhattan NYC, masking tape, flashbulb and chocolate chip cookies
1931 ATT began commercial teletype services, The Bosch Semaphore was introduced. It was an orange arm that drivers could pop out the window to signal turns.
1932 1st patent was issued for a peach tree, Philips made is 1,000,000 radio
1933 1st aircraft carrier was christened: USS Ranger.
1934 test of practical radar apparatus was made by Rudolf Kuhnold in Germany, the Readphone was produced for putting literature and music on long-playing disks.
1935 ball point pen invented, RADAR, Pop graduated from Haverford High School
1936 screw-on bottle cap with pour lip was patented
1937 Ernest Vincent Wright wrote the novel Gadsby containing 50,100 words and none of the words contains the letter E.
1938 First color TV was demonstrated, 1st successful test of photocopier and parking meters
1939 September 1, 1939 WWII officially began and Uranium atom split
1940 Neptunium was discovered and named after the planet Neptune.
1941 Alfred Butts of NY invented the board game Scrabble.
1942 Twenty six countries agree to create the United Nations
1943 Silly Putty invented, originally made as a synthetic rubber during WWII and Slinky made from 80 feet of steel wire
1944 aerosol spray cans invented

1945 May 7, 1945 WWII officially ended, microwave was patented

1946 US patent was filed for H-bomb
1947 Bell labs invented cellular phone technology
1948 first tape recorder and Polaroid camera was sold, production of 33 1/3 records, X-rays
1949 Frank J. Zamboni invented the Zamboni Ice Resurfacing Machine, 45 RPM records
1950 disposable diapers, Korean War begins on June 25
1952 UPC codes invented
1953 Korean War cease fire on July 27
1954 First time a mile was run in under 4 minutes by Roger Banniste, Sports Illustrated first issue
1955 Velcro invented, Vietnam war began on November 1
1956 Play-Doh patented
1957 Peak of the Baby Boomers years
1958 LEGOS patented

1975 Vietnam war ends on April 30

an amazing list condensed into 95 years .http://timelines.ws/subjects/Technology.HTML

Edelweiss

NPR is doing a series on “Thanks for the Music Mom & Dad” where listeners are asked “how, for better or worse, has your parents' record collection shaped your own taste in music?”

While listening to this series on my NPdrive home from work,  the first interview was with Audra McDonald.  She was talking about Christopher Plummer singing Edelweiss in the Sound of Music.

I had a flashback of Dad, with our record player he purchased while he was a member of the Columbia Record Club.  It was gray and white, with two side speakers that you unbuckled from the sides.  One of Dad’s favorite records was the Broadway recording of the Sound of Music.  I can still hear him singing along with Theodore Bickel to Edelweiss.  Edelweiss is still one of Dad’s all-time favorite songs.

It still amazes me how something as simple as a song, can stir up so many memories.

Thanks Dad!

Thanks to my guest blogger, my sister Jackie, for this great memory of Dad.

PS I remember Grandmom sitting on the green metal glider on the big stone front porch playing her old banjo and singing Edelweiss.