Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope everyone enjoyed time with their families and a chance to gather together to give thanks!

TURKEY 19 lbs -- CLARA 20 lbs.

I love music of all kinds,

but there's no greater music 

than the sound of my grandchildren laughing

Poop in Pot? The Suess version

Poop in Pot?
NO, NO, I think not
Poop on Pop.

Turd in toilet?
NO, NO  not yet
Turd in trashcan.

Crap in the can?
NO Sir, NO Ma'am
Crap on the carpet

S@#t on seat?
Yes, Yes, it's quite a feat
S#@t on seat

S#@t on slippers?
Yes, ma'am, Yes, sir
S#@t on slippers

Poop in Pot?
NO, NO, I think not
Poop on Pop.

Close Encounters of the Turd Kind

Last night as I served Mom and Pop dinner, I went to set down the dinner plates on the paper shredder that serves as a small table between their matching recliners. It was cluttered with TV remotes, cordless phone, newspapers and something I could not immediately identify but had a distinctly identifiable smell.

"What's that?" I said
"I don't know" Pop said
 "It's...poop" Mom said.
"I found it on the floor." Pop said

"Where did it come from?" I said.
"Where do you think it came from?" Mom said.
"I think Jazz, (our black lab) was just in here." Pop said.

"Oh S@#t," I said.
"That's right," Mom said.
"Don't curse," Pop said.

Then to my horror, Mom picked up the turd, (with her bare hands) carefully examined it, and casually tossed it into the trashcan.

Stifling the urge to gag, I returned with a very large container of disinfectant wipes, rubber gloves and a clean trash bag.

Happy 98th Birthday Pop!

Yesterday, Pop celebrated his 98th birthday! At least twice when I served him cupcakes and later in the day an ice cream cake, he asked, "Now who's birthday is it?

LOOKING GOOD POP!

One Ply or Two?

One ply or two? Septic or public? 30/50 or 40/60? I stared blankly at my interrogator. Ma'am, how long has it been like this? I rubbed my eyes from the bright light shining in my face. Ma'am snap out of it. It all seemed so real, like it just happened. Was I dreaming...?

Once more we have experienced an unnatural disaster of epic proportions, but this time we had to call in a professional. I was schooled on the proper plunging techniques, how to get the most leverage when using a snake. I was advised to purchase a power flush toilet, power plunger, and a new fill valve.   My copious notes include all the basic plumbing vocabulary, complete with definitions provided by the professional. Any questions? he asked after the lesson was over. Yes, how do I keep Pop from using too much toilet paper?

It was his turn to give me a blank stare.

Pee Slippers

Pop has been having difficulty steering his stream of pee into the toilet. He seems to miss the mark every time. The urine usually ends on his slippers or on the floor in front of the toilet. We have tried the usual methods to encourage accurate aim. Cheerios and bulls eye targets floating in the bowl have not had the desired results. So Mom decided to take things into her own hands…literally. She follows Pop into the bathroom and holds it for him while he pees. My husband remarked, “it gives a whole new meaning to the marriage vows…to have and to hold.”

Quote from the book, The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared: 

"The 100-year-old man set off in his pee-slippers (so called because men of advanced age rarely pee farther than their shoes)" Pop is just 2 years shy of the 100-year mark.

Happy 89th Birthday Mom!

Another year for Mom to celebrate being Queen for a Day! A juicy hamburger with all the trimmings and ice cream cake was on the menu, the birthday girl's favorite foods.

Her favorite part of the day was a visit from her great-daughter Hannah. Here is part of the dinner conversation:
Pop: Hannah, you're full of soup.
          (Pause...eat...repeat)
Pop: Hannah, you're full of soup.
          (Pause...eat...repeat)
Pop: I love you (a favorite saying of Pop's, he points to his eye, then his heart and then at Hannah)
Pop: I love you (same gestures)
         (Pop can't remember what he said 5 seconds ago)
So far a one-sided conversation to which Hannah replied patiently, "PopPop I'm busy eating"
Pop: Hannah, you're full of malarkey
That got Hannah's attention. She tried to repeat it...malarkey...malarkey
Hannah: You're so silly, PopPop!