The Merchant of Venice

Mom's modern day version of this Shakespeare classic goes like this

Act I:
Narrator: As of January 1, 2012 Mom and Pop's private insurance will be changed to Medicare Advantage.
Mom (in her best Shakespearean dialect): Forsooth, why oh why must it be changed?  What option (casket) should I choose?

Act II: Two weeks later:
Mobile Lab: I'm coming out tomorrow morning to draw some blood that your doctor (Shylock) ordered.
Narrator: The Mobile Lab arrives, draws three vials of blood from Mom and two vials from Pop. Mom is upset because they took so much blood, they usually only take one vial of blood and only from me, not from Pop.

Later that same day: Mom received two phone calls. One from the doctor's office confirming an appointment for Pop and the other from the Mobile Lab at the hospital about their blood work results and questions about insurance information.

Mom is convinced that the reason they took so much blood (a pound of flesh)  is because of the faulty new insurance plan and they are accepting blood in lieu of insurance payments.