Saturday Mourning

It is a very snowy Saturday. At least 12 inches of snow have fallen and Mom and Pop have cabin fever. Anyway, Pop got up early, started his breakfast and then realized that he didn't have his newspaper. They say that there are five stages of grief, Pop experienced all of these: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance

• He couldn’t possibly have breakfast without his newspaper. He never has breakfast without his newspaper. How could this happen? It always just appears at the table when I get up in the morning.
• Did the delivery person (Eric) forget? What to do? What to do?
• Should I try to get it myself? Wait, the last time I did that, I fell. (He didn’t really think that, I just wanted you to know that he really did fall outside in the snow trying to get his newspaper) Or wait to see if it magically appears?
• Maybe if I wish real hard, when I open my eyes or it will be here. Or maybe after I get out of the bathroom for the fourth time this morning, I’ll find it folded neatly on the chair. Oh, no! I’ve finished my cantaloupe and my oatmeal will be gone soon too and still no paper.
• I guess I will have to finish my three-hour breakfast without my paper to read or my fizzle to punish. (see spoonerisms for translation)

There is a happy ending to this sad, snowy, story. Jazz found the paper buried under a mound of snow and saved the day…just like Lassie!